I'm telling you...it was no dream
2002-07-09 / 6:35 p.m.

The super secret cell phone...

I've been suffering an ear infection the last several days. No doctor, I self medicate when antibiotics are available. This one was nasty and I'm still partially, yet temporarily, deaf in my left ear. Most people get them only as kids and eventually they grow out of it. Not me, my first was when I was 15 and I've had at LEAST two every year since.

Anyways...

It's 3:38am and I'm crying like a baby and Thugs trying to comfort me. I get up, Thug rolls over to my side of the bed and starts looking on the floor for the heating pad.

Like a bad dream.... "NOOOOOOOOO!"

I'm trying to tell him I don't have the heating pad, it's not been seen since at least a year ago. Just as I get back over to my side, he finds it (my little secret). He asks what a cell phone is doing here. "It's the office pricks", I say. He's the guy who gave it to me. "He lets me borrow it sometimes".

Thug doesn't believe me. I try to tell him it has free long distance, to tell him I was going to call Tylor or Monica or someone.

He finds something to heat up and put on my ear. We turn off the lights, and I (continuing to act innocent) start to back up, to snuggle with him. He won't let me.

I say "What's wrong, don't you like me?" Yeah, lame I know.

He says "I don't trust you." blah blah "Now that I think about it there was that guy who came out here from Chicago that time".

I say "That was TWO YEARS AGO" (two years this month)

But he's not going for it.

I think I mumbled something like "yeah ok" and that was it.

I thought for sure my marriage was over. He's put up with so much from me and now I've really fucked it up.

Jump to the next morning. I'm expecting shit or the silent treatment. Instead he asks me how I'm feeling, Booger ends up leaving for the day with her grandparents and I ask him if he wants to see a movie. He says yes with no problems. Still I wasn't sure.

I figured he was planning to go through all my stuff, and maybe he did when I left for work on Monday. I cleaned up any evidence of GS on Sunday.

And I've been waiting for him to say something about it. Nothing yet, thank you God.

We even had sex this afternoon, something that's not happened in probably two weeks. He wouldn't do that if he was planning something, that's just not how he works.

It's bugging me bad. Something is definitly not right.

So now we're thinking about going to the drive in tonight. Fun, eh? Pizza, coke and candy. I hope they have those malt shake things, like the kind I'd get from the ice cream man when I was little...frozen solid.