I should still be in bed
2002-05-11 / 7:34 a.m.

My flowers are looking a little down. I don't know why it's so hard to remember to water them. The daisies look good tho.

The other day I emailed an old high school boyfriend and he wrote back. I'd done this a couple of years before but it seemed like he wasn't all that thrilled to hear from me... too busy and everything to really talk. So after a few email exchanges it was back to where we were. Nothing.

This time is a little different. We spent a ton of time on the phone last night talking about the past and what's been going on in our lives. He hasn't changed a whole lot really. Whether or not that's good or bad, what does it matter really? Being able to reconnect with the past, hear someone who once understood me, my friend, that was what it was about.

Thug is out of town this weekend, panning for gold, fishing, I don't know. I dropped him off yesterday afternoon at his parents house and I don't have to pick him up until Sunday afternoon. Booger spent the night at my parents house last night :) Yay, alone time.

I talked to GS for a while on the phone, watched some Playboy special on FOX. Once I started it, I had to find out who got to be the July centerfold. I think the girl was a weasel.

Denios today with the sister to pick up the hot sauce sign which I know will be gone with my luck. My rotten luck plus me just not making it over there to get it. Also we're going to find a mothers day gift for our wonderful mother.

Damn, I really need to find other stuff for Thug. Time is running short and I don't know what I'll do.

GS is busy all weekend at work so I doubt there will be any of him later.

The old boyfriend wants me to call him again. I think I might.

I'm a good girl... I swear :)

Thug knows I emailed him. Thug doesn't care at all.

I can hear a neighbor yelling at his wife. Screaming. It reminds me a little of how Thug and I were and also of being little. A Saturday morning where sis and I were watching toons, dad getting upset over something. Mom saying "please calm down Al...please." Him breaking things going down the hall. Things like that. Getting scared and running to the neighbors house in only a t-shirt I used as a nightgown. Knocking on the door, pounding and then trying to turn the knob to let myself in. Thinking if they were asleep I'd wake them up. Then giving up I went back home.

Dad had a temper. Dad was a jealous fool.

Funny thing is I was closer to him than mom. I've always felt like I didn't know her until the divorce. I was daddys little girl, not mommys. Dad was fun. Not that I didn't love my mother.

Maybe it's all in my head. Maybe we weren't really all that close at all.

Enough rambling for now. Maybe I can get a little more sleep before I have to get up for good.